It's Just a Rough Patch....

We all have them.
I just came back from a two week vacation and find myself depressed. A bit angry. A lot confused. And for many things going on in my life, not just one in particular.
But in the midst of trying to just stay positive, I decided to get back on here and start plugging away at the keys, because sometimes I feel like it's my only support system or I just don't want to feel like I'm bothering anyone. Yesterday was better for me, I was able to talk to my older Brother, who helped me a lot and for that I'm grateful. I hope that if you're going through a rough patch too....this can possibly give you some things to think about and hopefully make you feel a bit more positive.

Some of the things I'm learning while I go through.....what I'm going through:

- I've been in much worse places than where I am now, and with the help of my Brother, I was reminded of that, it's always nice to be reminded.

- I have much to be grateful for, whether I am happy with where I am at the moment or not.

- These feelings don't have to stay, I actually have control of them, even though it doesn't feel like it.

- Exercise really does make me feel better, especially when I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning because I'm just so sad with life, and because I feel better after exercise, it proves to me how much it IS mind over matter. Yes....my sadness causes me to feel tired, weak, and sad....but my body proves that doesn't have to stop me. It saved my life before, it continues to do so.
Mindset rules your life......period.

- Life sometimes piles the good, but also it piles the bad on your shoulders, but either way, there is a reason for it. For me, I feel like that reason is faith. My faith is tested daily.....but I'm not alone, and I do know that. No matter the crap show life is handing me, it WILL pass. I will come out a different person.

- It's a common thing to feel hopeless in this world. We're all in this....just not all together unfortunately. Sadly. No Doctor, pill, liquid or spiritual entity can take that feeling away, it's there. All we can do is learn how to live in peace with ourselves in this less than peaceful world. WE are the answer to our own peace and our own happiness. If we can't learn to find this, we're screwed.

- I am only me. I HAVE to accept this. I HAVE to love this. No matter what I go through, what I've been though, what I learn, what I accomplish, what I don't accomplish, I'm still me......happy or sad.....ME.

- It's easy to become the "victim".
I always felt like the victim in my life, up until I decided to SEE differently. As I go through what I'm going through, I find myself thinking about how I always felt that way, and how now, I see this as something shifting in my life. Whether there is a big rainbow on the other side, I don't know...but something is shifting because I made the decision to stand where I am today. Where I am is ok, truly. I may feel lonely, sometimes depleted.....but I'm ok. I'm alive and I can and will find a direction....and it won't be "Victim's Alley". I believe now, life has happened FOR me, and it continues to do so....even though it sucks at the moment, and that's only because my mind is telling me this. Depression can actually TEACH you things to grow from.....who knew.??

- I'm learning that the phases and growth spurts I go through in life, didn't stop with my bones in 7th grade..or my chest at that time....lol. Life is throwing spurts constantly. When we're young, we don't think about this. We just stroll through what is going on in front of us at the time. What feels like the all consuming 'end of the line' is most likely the beginning of a new one. A sharp turn on the roller coaster.....you know the one that jolts your head sideways so far and drool seeps from the side of your mouth and it feels like you may just be stuck that way, only to straighten back out shortly after, and  you just gained another experience you will never forget, leaving you wanting more, bigger and better!

- Perfection and control are some of the worst things on the planet. They are both impossible, and it's ok!



My hope is to come out of my 30s with a clear path. I still have a few years yet. I have to remember that some of the things I go through, are indeed enough to put someone in  a facility sometimes, but there are people out there that go through worse on a daily basis, but even still.....my issues are not little ones and I need to stop thinking they are. My feelings are valid, I'm not being dramatic, and I just need to keep plugging away, whether I'm sad or happy. Someday it will all make sense.

I hope my feelings might help you. I'm sorry if they don't, but it helps me to get it out. If you're here....thanks for reading this and being a part of my journey through life.

Wendi